Getting lifted!

Tradition is considered important in Vellore and the seniors take on the responsibility of educating the gullible juniors about the traditions. The graduating interns during graduation day entertainment, gave their own spin to the CMC Motto “Not to be ministered unto, but to minister”, modified to “Not to be conned but to con”. And ‘Ace Cons’ abounded in the corridors of Men’s Hostel. ‘Getting lifted’ was supposed to be one such tradition and the intricacies of this tradition were taught to the juniors.
One day while returning from SA Hall I saw a large gathering of my classmates in a slum room. Curious to know what was going on I entered the room. Two of my classmates were sitting on the floor facing each other with their knees flexed in front and a group trying to persuade a classmate to be part of this challenge. “What challenge?” I asked. “Well” said a spokesperson for the group “_____ says he can lift 3 people together.” Pointing to a not particularly muscular or bodybuilder type person in the room, who nodded in acknowledgement when I looked at him. “And we are trying to persuade _____to take up the challenge.”
Well their powers of persuasion seemed to work especially when one member of the group vouched that he had been lifted and it was an amazing experience. So now to take the challenge _____ was supposed to recline on the folded knees of one of the people sitting on the ground while the person at the foot end sat between his folded knees facing him. The person on whose folded knees _____ was reclining then passed his hands under his armpits, around his shoulders and clasped his fingers behind his neck in a ‘full Nelson’ wrestling grip. The person at the foot end put his arms around his thighs and clasped his hands. Then the lifter stood over him and with all theatrics of a weight lifter about to lift a heavy barbell he bent down and unbuttoned his trousers. The lifted went into spasms akin to tonic, clonic contractions in a grand mal seizure but was pinned down at the shoulders and the thigh, only movement possible was arching his pelvis upwards making the job of the lifter easier. The lifter with more theatrics pulled down his underwear to expose his now shriveled frightened member and it’s two crouching sidekicks. Now the lifted tried spitting unsuccessfully in the direction of the lifter and followed it up with some bleepable expletives. The lifter produce a wooden foot ruler and measured the size of the already shriveled member, loudly announcing the figure, there was booing and someone said “he’s brought down the class average.” Then the lifter using the ruler lifted the member along with it’s sidekicks till it pointed skywards to a cheering audience. “See! I’ve lifted 3 people.” he said though the comparison left a lot to imagination.

Now the lifted was released and as you can imagine, he was furious. After quickly regaining his modesty he could not decide on whom in the gathering to vent his fury. He spotted the person who had vouched that being lifted was an amazing experience. He slapped him and said “I’ve got nothing private left!”
This quote has gone down in posterity and is forever remembered by our batch.