This was my speech on the occasion of Men’s Hostel Final Year’s Farewell. My late father preserved a copy of this speech which I found amongst his papers. I thought it might be interesting to post it.
Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen,
Only on two occasions I have made a speech here in CMC. The first time was during our fresher’s welcome, when I had to stand here introduce myself and talk about my hobbies etc, etc and this is the second time presumably also the last. The time gap between these two occasions has been slightly more than five years. The view from this podium has changed, not only in terms of the people sitting in the audience, but also the fact that the first time I did not look at the audience. My gaze was directed above everybody’s head!
Five years in those days seemed like eternity, one reason for that was, five years was approximately equal to 1/3rd of my total lifetime. Whereas now that fraction is steadily approaching the 1/5th mark. Maybe that’s one reason why I find the days going faster and faster, and with the exams just around the corner, I wish I could slow it down.
At an occasion like this, one tends to recollect past events. Majority of what I recollect is no doubt pleasant, but of course it is natural tendency to forget the unpleasant. I would like to tell you about some of these memories. The first major event which we all had to face was the initiation. It lasted for 3 days and 3 nights, unlike the present 1 hour. It was easy if you behaved subservient and kept your ‘Lord and Master’ amused by cracking jokes or doing stupid things. In retrospect it was a very enjoyable experience, but only in retrospect not when you are in it. The most difficult thing I found was remembering seniors names and they felt very offended if you did not remember their name. One easy solution to this problem was to remember the very common names in the Hostel, for example ‘John’. That would be sufficient to satisfy a John Muthusamy, John D. Ashok, John Israel, John Alexander, John Putur Selvam, Benjamin John, Cherian John, George T. John and not to forget Sajiv John and other members of block John (Block John consist of a block in the Hostel, all of them my classmates and all of them are Johns), but it did not satisfy Cyrus Mills and I ended up doing 10 push ups, but it was better than saying “I don’t know sir”.
The moment initiation was over we concentrated our energies on getting to know each other. I can still remember Priyo Sada on the first day of class with Uma Nair’s chappals in his hand, threatening to throw it out of the window unless she did 10 push ups.
Venkatesh who had the misfortune of sharing a room with Agroo, Datta and me, one day before the final English exam came back tired from S.A. Hall, set his alarm for 4:30 am and went to sleep exactly at 12 am. The moment he was fast asleep someone forwarded his clock by 4 hours. Venky arose, bright and fresh at 12:30 am took his towel, soap, toothpaste, toothbrush and proceeded to the bogs. Enroute he discovered what the time actually was.
Then there was the day Neelam Charles was rudely awoken from his afternoon siesta by the weight of 15 people stacked up on him. His bed buckled on that weight. I offered to straighten the bed out for him, by turning it over and jumping on it. Instead of the bed straightening the planks broke. Neelu’s only reaction was, “I can’t even laugh now Cartoon!”
Then the time we put a bomb under Murli’s bed, the bomb had a slow fuse, it went off in the middle of the night. What dissappointed us the most, who were awake and waiting for the explosion, was that Murli had not stirred.
Then the hot summer nights, a large group of us used to sleep on the terrace. On a full moon night, the moonlight was so brilliant we could play 28 (popular card game). But the most interesting thing was to lie back admire the stars and the clouds. Sometimes with a little help of our fertile imaginations, the shape of these clouds could resemble many familiar objects. One day Murli exclaimed excitedly, “I bet you can’t guess what that cloud looks like.” We all tried, “a boy?, a girl?, a monkey?, an orangutan?”
“No, no, you are all wrong, that cloud looks exactly like a barium meal.” (x-ray picture of the stomach)
Once this feeling of Déjà vu descends on me, I can go on and on, but I will stop here and proceed on to the traditional questions.
Matrimonial plans
At present there exists no plans, but allow me to quote freely J.E. Park and K.E. Park (Authors of ‘A textbook of Preventive and Social Medicine’) on what they call ‘Universality of marriages in India’. “Marriages are universal and sacramental. Everyone sooner or later [then he adds in brackets (usually sooner)] gets married. The individual’s economic security or emotional maturity are seldom a prerequisite to marriage.”
So in that there is hope for me, whenever it takes place whether sooner or later, I’ll let you know.
Ideal woman
One who is seen and not heard.
Future plans
I’ll divide my future plans under two headings, Immediate future and Future future. The immediate future is quite certain, pass exams, finish internship and then finish two years bond period. The future future is uncertain, if not a PG (post graduation) then a GP (general practice), life is full of opportunities and the sky’s the limit. I may even work with a neglected tribe, the ‘Yeti’ or what is more popularly known as the ‘Abominable Snowman’.
Advice to the hostel
The hostel has changed a lot since my first year, but change is inevitable after all nothing remains static. There are varying opinions on whether this change is good or bad, but that is very subjective. Only thing I can say is that it is still a very nice place to stay in, so enjoy your stay and don’t overstay.
So goodnight and goodbye!
Raju Wilkinson's Blog 